I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
Dude, I woke up in the middle of the night and your room mate was just standing there at the foot of the bed, watching us sleep.. you don't remember me shaking the shit out of you to tell you this?!
This could explain the reason why I've been finding his clothing and keys scattered in random parts of my room..
AND THIS DOESN'T WORRY YOU?!
You tired to make Beefaroni in the Mr. Coffee machine.
I walked outside out to find her peeing in her toga with a cigar in one hand and her thong in the other
I just worked out and used handles of vodka as weights. Whoever said alcoholism is detrimental to you health obviously has no fucking idea.
He got so drunk that he tried hitting on a girl using nothing but his Samuel L. Jackson soundboard application on his Iphone
you're acting like its my fault you're allergic to sperm or something.
i told you we never speak of that again
So there's dick imprints in the peanut butter
Bathtub drinking tim. I have no pool so I work with what I have
True idk how my parents didn't know I was blackout. I ate like 4 pieces of cheesecake and showed my cousins my boobs
i repeatedly had to ask him if he was into this because he kept talking about random things while i jerked him off. i got annoyed and in order to annoy him back, i told him i wanted to watch him do it. he also talked about basketball WHILE cumming. NEVER AGAIN.
Dude, my sex life is so sad since I started having feelings.
Sleeping with just one person sucks
Would it be weird if I bought knee pads and shin guards to fuck in my car?
I'm done, I have no more memes or ways to ask for nudes, so yeah
His mom wants to come see the dorm.
Hide the whip.
Randomize
