don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
So guy #2, the dancer, is programmed into my phone under the name H.uy. His number- 11 digits. I should have stopped drinking.
dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
Dude you don't even know. I spilled the tequila and it took 4 people to stop me from drinking it off the table.
In chronological order you drank, sang, smoked, napped, threw up, cried, laughed, described your pubic area, passed out. You have abused the privilege to use me as your D.D.
I need a gatorade, my back cracked, my crimper, my shot glass, a sock of rice and an explanation.
You did this to yourself.
Dude she gave you head while I was in the closet, we've passed the "awkward" phase.
So who was trying to make it rain last night in the bathroom? There are pieces of dollar bill everywhere
Ever the responsible adult, I just realized that today is the Obamacare deadline, but I'm too high to handle insurance now.
He also ordered me a vibrator last week, so the flowers kind of balance it out
I could fuck to npr.
I know EXACTLY where things went wrong with her...I didn't use Cheetos as a wooing tool.
This couple is walking their pig around campus
A world without bacon flavored condoms is not one I want to live in.
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