My mom says you aren't allowed to eat doritos at my house
Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
I've developed breathing exercises to keep myself from puking..
I made him ride the giant pony statue in my friends little sisters room before i let him get in the bed.
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
There's a girl in the bathroom crying about something having to do with cream cheese.
I think people like me is why alcohol became illegal at one point
Yo if you blacked out last night, careful going through your purse. There's cocaine in a lollipop wrapper.
Just realized i left my bra at his house. WHY do i suck at one night stands?!
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
They're the one who can profit the most when given the opportunity for blackmail.
At least that's how I've always seen it whenever I've been the Designated Driver.
That simultaneously explains everything and makes me very very terrified of you.
He took my Spanx off and still fucked me twice. I call that success.
This can only be settled by a dance off.
Great... now even my dreams are making fun of me
Randomize
