I just remember standing in the shower with you eating chips.
He's so gross, but the preschooler inside me is screaming that this is her life dream and I have to be with him or she'll never forgive me.
I need to get skinnier so that I know when pregnancy scares are real...
I just did the math, I've had 8 hours of sleep in the last 3 days. Not sure if that means I am dedicated to my sex life or my job...
im standing in line right now while the 711 manager calls other locations to see if they have the john cena collectors slurpee cup in stock...yep i need to get laid
He showed me one of his balls and said "this one's free. you'll have to work to see the other.."
Well, my nose won't stop bleeding from really bad cocaine and my purse is full of plastic gold coins. Also, someone saved in my phone as "tyrannosaurus sex" won't quit texting me. Savannah won. Let's put it that way.
There are two women in my bed. I'm gonna have a bowl of noodles so I can better understand my success.
Just walked by the barren window naked in a family neighborhood. Who needs dignity.
I'm pretty sure my therapist gave me the green light to fuck him.
You call it sex. I call it penis conditioning.
She's not allowed to do acid anymore... she started crying because she thought she was an eagle.
last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.
guess who smoked weed with their grandpa tonight. and no it wasn't me.
Come on in and take your pants off
Randomize
