guess who was drunk and crawling in the middle of the road and got brought home by the police last night? HINT: ME
I need help removing her.
dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
He told me to pretend to be a shark, and he would slay me with his harpoon cock.
Is it hot in here? Is the room moving? Its moving. The room is moving. Its spinning like a top. Have you ever been covered in puke? What are you doing?
We where late for the party because we spent the last hour staring at a towl becase we thought it was a raccoon
DONT EVER DUNK OREOS INTO WINE . NEVER
Its bad when you wake up with a penis drawn on your face. Its worse when you find out its traced..
YOU WORK IN THE US CAPITOL! YOU CANNOT HAVE SEX IN THE BATHROOM!!
Dude, you are totally ruining intern season for me...
He was stoned and starts screaming, "I ain't got but a dollar, I wanna hear waterfalls!". Maybe he can hang with us....
The impromptu 'dance party' was just three white dudes flailing arrhythmically in the kitchen in absolute silence. Stone cold sober.
I do not love him. There is no love. Only sex and meatloaf.
I impressed him by taking off my panties without removing my pants.
Eh, my puke tasted like lemonade, so not too bad
Listen, i know this is weird for you, but as your fuck buddy, id prefer if you didnt fuck her.
Youre asking too much from me
Randomize
