We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
I hope i woe up in your car, or else i stole someone elses and slept in the back seat
She has an album entitled "my photography", which consists of about 80 different pictures of a tractor that she took on her cell phone. I'm all for freedom of expression, but come on.
So you walked 4 miles to get home but stopped by the store first to get a vegetable tray? How drunk were you?
OMG bikini contest at the bar. You can see this one chicks scar from her c-section and I'm pretty sure she is the best of the bunch.
Can't. I took a Viagra to make sure I wouldnt leave the room so I might actually study.
I wasn't concerned until I realized he was using the vase my birthday flowers came in as a " big glass" for his 151 and coke.
So he says "my girlfriends coming over so you have to leave but I love you"
She sucks enough dick that I could make her mouth a legitimate Yelp location.
Our music was glorious. Maidens were deflowered to the sound of my voice.
Come camping we have xanax and steaks
I only wore my thong with cheeseburgers on it because I thought we'd have sex. So I basically wasted my best thong for nothing.
totally just bought a bottle of gin with nothing but change
don't ever let anyone tell you that youre not 100% class
Hey this is your roommate. You know the one that let you have sex with her while you called out your exs name and cried?
I have no recollection of that. You must have the wrong number. P.s. your thongs still on the ceiling fan.
Randomize
