i must have dtf stamped on my forehead
its like he missed a chap in the "being a guy" handbook and read the bible instead
you shoved the noah's ark of animal crakers in your mouth saturday.
There is no way he is gay with that hair.
Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
i'm glad we've gotten to the point in our relationship where I can eat peach rings off your penis.
The toilet started ringing, I think I just found your phone.
I'm still in shock that he came by my house for five minutes dropped off a Teddy bear and went to the strip club on valentines day
Since you haven't talked to me since the rancid whipped cream fiasco, I'm going to assume we are no longer hooking up. But I need my handcuffs back. ASAP.
he belly flopped onto the beer pong table, and almost boke his face, so at that point we decided swimming would be safer for him.
Think I pulled my pelvic muscle.
I think I pulled my ashamed of myself muscle.
I left the guinea pigs on the dryer. Make sure to take care of them.
Let's just say after this weekend I'm known as Shameous the Irish bar fighter.
I'm putting his belongings the garage sale so he can buy his own stuff back. # divorced life. Thanks for cheating on me you tone deaf dick biscuit that'll be $20. Haha.
So the remote for the camera in the photo booth must have gotten dropped on the floor. while you were in there. having a threesome. on the floor of the room where my parents stay when they visit me. so thanks.
Randomize
