I wannas sexs uuuuu
You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
Oh, don't even get me started. Harry Potter is so pure. Twilight is just teenage girl porn.
We almost didn't get a second pitcher, but now we're getting a sixth.
Remember when the only STD we had to worry about were hickies? Those were the days
My wife googled 'purchase vibrator.' Not sure if I should be excited or offended.
Note to self: don't jizz on a surface cleaned with Tilex. It WILL turn purple.
Did you leave your blow razor here? I need it for crafts.
siamese drinking twins saturday is a go ... bring duct tape.
You ever got drunk on $5? Cuz it's about to happen
Okay. This morning the comforter was wet, you were underwearless and using a tiny blanket. What'd you do??
Officially crunch time. It's my last year of grad school and I've yet to get blown in a school library. The parking garage was less than a block away though.
You kept ripping all your clothes off and saying, "Let me be free!"
I'll screw just about anything, but I draw the line there
COCAINE AND SUSPENSFUL BBC SHOWS DO NOT WORK.
Randomize
