South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
Now that the fun of having an iPhone has worn off I find that using screen as a coke tray is by far my favorite app
I was hidding Easter eggs in CHURCH this morning when one of the older men came up to me and said "I always knew you'd be a bunny just not the Easter kind" ... Our congregation obviously has high hopes for their pastor's daighter
Why wouldn't u just let me ride the washing machine
just printed out my drug dealers resume for him. guess the ecstasy scene slows down when kids move back home for the summer...
Well for starters the people who just made my burger at the grab and go just told me to "hang in there"
I don’t know what's weirder; the fact that I weigh more with an erection..or the fact that I actually weighed myself with an erection...
Well, I convinced myself I had a sixth toe and then I ripped it off. So I PRAY you're doing better than me.
I vaguely remember seeing that couple making out in front of that store and i yelled "I ALSO LOVE THE ROCKY MOUNTAIN SOAP COMPANY!"
Pretty sure I just puked up sand. And nothing else.
I woke up and there was pizza slices on the fucking walls of my room
The moment I was petting the giraffe was the moment I passed out
Just learned that the cute guy I've been flirting with at the beach this whole time is actually an inmate working in the community instead of being in prison.. My life is unreal
We stood outside the room listening to them have sex and making meow noises
That's not right, is it?
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