Dude, 1 prime defect in the snuggie- you can't fuck someone discreetly under a snuggie. No way no how
Bubblewrap condoms. We can steal Ziplock's new slogan. Protection you can hear.
I'm sitting at my desk looking through our payroll system photos to find my next boyfriend. Abuse of power or awesome?
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
I just baptized the girl next to me. LONG LIVE THE CHURCH OF VODKA
One of us will probably end up wearing nothing but glow/ neon body paint and a pair of water wings...
And I am in no way ashamed to say that it will most likely be me. I'm hoping for it actually.
You did it first. I was merely expressing my support for you, by pressing my testicles against a window.
Woke up to a sex noise notice under my door...he gets a A+ for proformance and ill be seeing him again.
He was on my bed looking at me like a sacrifice to the gods of gay sex and he's definitely a bottom. Like Jesus Christ a really, really great ass of a bottom.
Have a glass of wine with dinner they said. Your hydrocodone has worn off they said... NOPE
I can feel your judgement through the phone
Woo is fucking right, dude. Vodka night tonight. Honestly, every night pretty much seeems like vodka night lately. My liver wants to move out of my body like I gave it an eviction notice.
You tried to fight someone about spaghetti o’s?
That hungover.
sam was dropping a deuce next to me. wrote me a note that said "glad we shared this experience." passed it under the wrong stall. the other guy picked it up. that's all I know so far.
Be there in a sec. We have to stop at Target to buy her underwear first.
Randomize
