I had a dream last night that we were eating cake at Mercy...hahaha. I'm furious I didn't see you.
i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
there is a polo shirt epidemic at this bar. also, im pretty sure i just saw the grown-up coppertone baby
some dude is getting blown right outside the bar in his car. reeediculous
class
he's dribbling her head like he's fucking allen iverson
Had a couple pieces of pizza for breakfast...suck on that Jamie Oliver.
i found a twelve pack under my bed. and a six pack in my closet. I'm like a fucking alcoholic squirrel.
Well were gunna have to wash the couch cover now...maybe even the couch, soap or fire your decision
A houseboat for a bachelor party is a terrible idea, we nearly die when on dry land, so how the hell are we supposed to survive a 3 day binge on a massive lake?
Any clothing i put on is too many clothes.
I'm hiding in a cabinet. I'm going to stay here.
I can feel my pain tolerance has shot up right along with my libido
Are you trying to say I've made an emotionally well rounded transformation similar to the Grinch?
It's gonna be like a sexual version of A Christmas Carol in my house in a few days.
I'm so glad I can be everyone's guide to the world of fucked up kinks
Can you cover for me after lunch? I’ve never seen a guy who cums as much as my new Side Dick so now I need to clean the house before my husband gets home
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