Hahahhahaha! Oooh get it! Ugh I am so dead but if I go to the lib whuich I will hopefully b havung sex instead, ill hit u up
mom and grandma are in town. grandma wants to get drunk with you
can you wear a superman outfit if we ever have sex?
thats the mark of a good guy. when you can period all over his leg and he still thinks you're beautiful!
I can't wait to see her breast feed this thing
as he left, i held up my fist and said "pound it out" and he was like "are you serious, we just had sex..."
I don't care what we do tonight, as long as it makes me forget that my boyfriend just told me he likes taking it up the ass from big guys dressed as construction workers
all i remember is him tryin to explain to the girls how to effectively hit the strip club with their bfs
hes actually pretty persuasive when he drinks
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
Did i actually sleep there? Or did i just get sand everywhere?
I'm not drinking anymore...and by that, I mean until St. Patrick's Day.
If you're not going to call the girls I bring around by name, at least don't call them by number. It's been cockblocking since girl #47. Dick.
IM FEEDING MY CAT ALL THE HAM
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
Uber southern baptist grandma and uber flaming cousin just got into an argument about whether jesus is OK with gay marriage. Aren't these things only supposed to happen at Thanksgiving?
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