ur dog is so gonna tell on us one day.
for doing what?
for smoking bowls out on the deck while your parents aren't home.
I've decided to film a documentary centered around how he manages to keep that beast caged in such tight pants
they say celebs die in threes. leave it to billy mays to throw in one extra COMPLETELY FREE!
I just got a standing ovation when i made it to work on New Years Day. good thing?
apparently, i ordered a pogo stick last night. i can't even be mad about that.
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
Note to self: never do anything I don't want to explain to a paramedic
Handle of 100 proof captain dressed like a pilgrim here we go
If this herpes test comes back negative I'm asking out the doctor.
Ya, found out why there were rat traps in my bed. Guess I pissed in Sams room so he went to the store and got them and put them on my bed and put tabasco in his humidifier and put it in my room
i know. like I have the nerve to talk about poverty. I eat peanut butter out of the jar.
Never start off a conversation with "speaking of STD's..."
passed out on bart again and decide to bike home. biked thru a goat farm of angry goats, biked on the freeway, got stopped by the cops, and sat shotgun in the squad car while the officer driving got a video on his iphone of his partner riding my bike on the freeway.
He bought me pizza and bourbon and played scrabble with me. So naturally I slept with him.
You got drunk, made toast, and declared yourself a domestic goddess.
Randomize
