and all i could think was, am i really about to have sex with someone who still thinks that pee comes out of the actual vagina?
I woke up with a picture of my dick as my background. still wondering if it was a good night or not.
dont you remember the bouncer yelling at you while you were trying to piss?
no. why was the bouncer in the bathroom?
he wasn't. neither were you.
You know who really doesn't like surpise in-your-face air guitar solos? Strangers.
He's really hot. I think he's gonna be my reason to shave this winter.
she trying to cartwheel up the stairs... not going so well
I'm just going to say , cocktail races are not for a Wednesday night maybe not even a Friday type of deal
And don't try to lose a condom in me tonight. My vagina is not a storage compartment where you can just leave something and try and use it again later in the week.
Did we seriously just get into a fist fight over kit kats?
Why are we so great
Like I'm def going to a therapist but I wouldn't change a thing about us except maybe the peeing
Lets just say I tried to pinky promise the cop... So I was fucked up.
Just please don't close your legs while I'm down there again. I don't want my death to be labeled as "Head crushed while giving an individual cunnilingus".
Dude I just clenched/unclenched my hindquarters while looking in the mirror I have fucking talent
i had to win in rock paper scissors, get called a fat whore, and make two dudes get in a fight so we could call next game on the table and you make zero cups. thanks asshole.
momentary stint on a second floor library computer...guy next to me snorted blue adderall off his notebook through a cut straw, i cant tell if this guy is my hero or just plain crazy...
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