As a driver I hate pedestrians, and as a pedestrian I hate drivers, but no matter what the mode of transportation, I always hate cyclists.
Goddamn it, are you fucking her sister?
did you know it's going to storm tonight?
You bitch. At least tell Laura she's a better kisser.
My sole motivation for showering this morning was to masturbate. Something is wrong here...
Well he's not a stripper, so we're already doing better than my last date.
This girl just introduced herself as Queefer Sutherland. She's on a roller derby team. What. The. Fuck.
It's horrible of you to say your above all this when the bar uses your drunk picture to scare people.
This bowl of cereal would be the size of a giant's bowl-piece. It's. that. big.
How much did you smoke??
Did you know that scruff feels epic on boobs especially when they are covered in whip cream?
He fucked me so hard I had an asthma attack. I'm like the sickly poster child for celibacy.
I walked into my room last night at 4 am and there's a random dude in his boxers eating oatmeal on my futon. I looked at him and went to bed
What's the worst that could happen? I'm already broke and my leg's already broken
I did all i could do but i woke up smelling like cigars and theres salsa all over my face
LIKE ALL I WANT TO CURE MY HANGOVER IS PORKROLL AND LIKE 85% OF THIS COUNTRY DOESN'T KNOW WHAT IT IS
how much of this shit do i need to take before i think its a good idea to set the house on fire and scream satanic mantras?
Medicine hack, old crowe and ramen flavor packets isnt a cure for the cold.
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