We ran out of things to say while we were playing Never Have I Ever so we started playing I Have Done This... Have You?
He just lit his joint with the tiki torches around his pool. He is definitely coming to my future parties
Playing basket ball at the park with random people that showed up at 1am. the division of teams is based on what drugs people are on
That's the second time in a week someone has called me to talk drunk you into getting up off the floor. This needs to stop.
it's 2:30 on a sunday and I just won a wine chugging contest. I'm never graduating.
WHYAREWHITEGUYSSOBADINBED?! What the fuck went wrong, evolution?
Want to know what makes for a better story than treehouse sex? Getting busted during treehouse sex
BECAUSE THIS IS AMERICA AND DONUTS AND TITTIES AND ALCOHOL IS WHAT THIS COUNTRY WAS FOUNDED ON
My bathing suit kept falling whenever I went under a wave and this kid caught on and kept checking them out so I told him nothing comes free $5 a boob
It's not ok to announce to a group of people playing beer pong that a girl put her finger in your butt last night. I now know this
I don't know who's more excited for you to come home. Me or my vagina
He called me piss drunk at 7:30pm while cooking bacon and said he was going to bed. I don't think he's taking it well.
If by some world ending natural disaster I get into an actual relationship with this kid, should I tell him the truth about the web of lies I've based our current relationship on?
Two questions: is there going to be a bathroom at this party, and can we fuck in it. This will define whether or not I enjoy going to parties with you.
New rock bottom. Woke up at 7 am fully clothed in a bathtub full of water. I hate myself.
Randomize
