Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
There is something about listening to Patsy Cline while pooping that makes the experience so much better.
I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
They should make a Rosetta Stone that allows men to understand what the fuck women are actually trying to say.
we are cooking lunchables pizzas on a fire pit.
I have no idea how I got home or why I am naked but I assume I owe you a thank you...
Need to spend sober time with him while fully clothed. I can't decide if he's a seriously amazing man or a complete fucking dickbag.
This is me not judging you for what a fine line you draw between the two.
Just had a serious discussion with my ex-boyfriend about sexy nurse vs. sexy teacher. So score one for friendship I guess.
You were ¾ of the way through the first pitcher of margaritas then you turned to me and said "Wow I can barely taste the vodka!" And then…….
...Then...
Then I told you margaritas are made with tequila not vodka. You whipped the pitcher at the wall and ordered another one
I just threw up vodka and hot dogs in a handicapped stall with someone in it who couldn't make me leave because he couldn't walk.
I want morning sex. We can incorporate maple syrup into it somehow, it'll be fun
I just need to drink whiskey get off and eat some cheese. Why is that so fucking hard for god to deliver.
I offered the opportunity to grope my boobs for pints. Two girls took me up.
You know how fear has a smell? Well turns out shame has a smell too. It's Pina colada flavored anal grease.
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