And then I watched some old guy get arrested for meeting some other old guy for a blow job. It was epic.
You wouldn't let me clean the puke off your face because I'd mess up your cat whiskers. Now that's dedication.
her roommates boyfriend drunkenly walked in on us banging and said yeeeeaaaaaahhhh and tried to high five me
you woke me up at 7 am banging on my wall.. what the hell
thats the international knock for joint time
She made me go down the fire escape when her mom came for breakfast.
Wow. A quad shot of peppermint schnapps. I feel like I just deep throated a candy cane. Best 21st ever.
It's all fun and games until you throw up hot cheetos in your drawer.
I taped a pair of scissors and a coupon for a waxing on the door. He gets to choose.
Yuck. My throat feels like someone chucked a couple of Maltov cocktails down it and finished it off with a super soaker filled with Jameson.
I swear if he puts my hand anywhere near his dick tonight I'm "accidentally" leaving all my rings on
Dude, you need better judgement.Trust me I know. I put my dick in the wrong mouths all the time
Great litmus test for what a useless adult you are: amount of shame you feel while eating a coffee cup of Fruity Pebbles
After I spend a passionate night with my vibrator, I have to awake and face my stuffed animals. Their beady eyes are full of shame and disappointmet. I can't deal with that level of judgement.
I woke up this morning to pee and six dollar bills fell out of my underwear. I guess that lap dance just bought me lunch.
Apparently I gave a guy a hand job on the dance floor. ON THE DANCE FLOOR.
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