he then started listing things that have been up his butt, never drinking in boys town again
I'm afraid my bank account can't handle syllabus week.
He went soft
Wait. During?
Yeah, he was IN. MY. MOUTH.
of course he's cheating on me, she's 100x prettier and she can do the splits
I gave the naked guy in the hotel hall a pop tart. He stopped crying.
This is going to be another afternoon spent getting drunk in the shower, isn't it?
Ripped lines in the bathroom before my presentation.. Got bonus marks for my enthusiasm.. This is why I love drugs
Just got a blowie during the Avengers. It's weird knowing that the high point of your life just happened.
I'm in my bed. Snow angles in fresh sheets. don't even try to get me out tonight.
It's called hot rabbit the party if he asks the password is "careful" don't ask
Would it kill us to punctuate. That last text took me 5 min to read
Can you masturbate to someone liking your instagram picture?
You stumbled in the door as high as a kite, & ran into the table. I asked you if you were all right. You replied with "I don't have any soup."
If you were to to ask if I just hid 4 shooters or Jameson it my bra and panties the anwer would be yes, yes I did
I’m torn. She’s crazy - like legitimately “Wear your skin as a suit” crazy. But her blow jobs and dirty talk are Pornhub quality!
Randomize
