No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
she was bad bro. like...id rather put my dick in a blender. twice.
i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
I brought red and green boonsfarm to the white elephant party. classy and festive. I think this is what people are referring to when they talk about killing two birds with one stone.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I bruise way too easily for the kind of rough sex I want...
She told me I was lying in front of her toilet for an hour saying "lasers."
He tried to write down the address for the cab on half a bagel.
Cancel that soberness update. I just almost fell down in the security line
How high are you?
I feel like breakfast can just fly into my mouth
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There is not enough whiskey in the world to get me through what happened on Pretty Little Liars tonight.
First world problems.
When she introduced her friend to me I shook his hand and told him not to leave his ugly vest at my apartment in the morning. He took it off and bought me a shot.
I don't know what his name was or what he looked like, but I remember him rocking me to sleep with his cock
what the hell makes you think you get to decide what your going to wear at our weding!?
WHY DID HE INTRODUCE ME TO HIS MOM? CAN'T HE JUST HIDE ME LIKE EVERYONE ELSE I'VE EVER DATED?@!
I just saw your brother in some random persons yard climbing a tree. Just saying.
Probably on drugs.
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