Soo....this goes on the list of odd coincidences. My gyno calls me while I'm going at it, leaves me a message. I check it later... thank God I tested negative.
He cummed in my mouth, then said he had to go because his best friend broke his foot falling off of a balcony, put twenty dollars in my hand and was gone before I could even swallow...
Please tell me that text was part of your elaborate Brett Favre costume; otherwise, dude, wtf?
Hey do you have a way to post bail? If not we can hook you up. If a police officer is reading this please ask him and respond in a timely fashion. I am concerned for my imprisoned friend
I'm drugging my best friend. I'm like a whole new level of bitch.
I guess I'm in a committed relationship. We just had shot 1 of 3 of Gardasil. I'm now dead inside.
He has in a pan: ten pieces of bacon, two cloves of garlic, an egg (not scrambled or hard boiled, just an egg) and frozen corn.
If anyone ask I'm rushing for brotherhood, not so that this bartender will suck my dick
So I put a beer on your bed and jumped on th3 other side of the bed like in the commercials. You my good sir, owe me a budweiser that your bed drank.
Out of everyone here, the sober one caught the cat on fire.
I sense naked hashbrown eating in my near future.
you know what? fuck you, fuck your nana, and ESPECIALLY FUCK THE BLACKHAWKS.
There was a woman who drank mouth wash to get drunk during her supposed detox...this is def the internship for me!
I JUST WANT TO HAVE AWKWARD SEXUAL EXPERIENCES WITH HIM.
Ha. Yeah that's all I found you with this morning. Butt ass naked w my robe across your lap and your arms thrown back in handcuff position.
Randomize
