Dude, I'm so high in the forest and I think I'm in a bear den.
Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
he actually proposed, and i threw up on him...i guess 5 glasses of wine was a bad idea.
10 dollar pizza all the toppings you want. Wait Until You See This Pizza
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
screw that ipod for my birthday.. i just want a weed brownie the size of my face. that's all.
The cop only confirmed I'm .22% Irish. Then I threw up on him.
Tell me you didn't really piss in the hookah.
I am still STD free so as far as I am concerned I never went to panama.
Was it just me or did you also find it awkward when "glad you came" started playing on pandora right after you finished?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey by the way did you notice my third nipple in my snapchat
I ordered more beers for everyone but had to finish them all. I promptly went outside and projectile vomited in the street. Three times.
I just took a service station dump so foul I had to buy gas out of guilt
250 people in this lecture & my prof asks who already drank green beer this morning& is drunk right now. I WAS THE ONLY ONE TO RAISE MY HAND
You know you've been having sex for 9 months when you do Rock Paper Scissors for who has to go on top
We need some Captain and Fanta. That shit will change your life. Sidenote, bring an IV drip to hook me to in the morning
Randomize