You up for the gym tonight after work?
I'm up for a light workout and a nice yog.
Fair enough, I'm gonna hit it hard today.
Chris Brown style, or less felonious?
Haha, all felonious.
i got a mint flavored condom from wellness day...im kind of tempted to taste it
Hmmm just stalked him and according to his facebook he wants "whatever he can get." obviously he'd be open to the idea.
Some guy just delivered flowers to my roommate cause he fell off a roof onto her at a party last night. I think they have a date tomorrow.
Dude. Apparently I just smoked some stuff that's used for Nigerian spirit quests.
no dude I'm not doing anything bad to her...remember she's always the DD she has blackmail material on literally all of us
And if I hated you I'd probably say things like, "I never want to speak to you again," or, "Eat a bag of dicks." That's how you'd know.
Next time we include dessert condiments into our sex life we can fuck up my sheets. It's only fair.
Might I also add after my boss threw up in the garbage can and yelled puking rally, he dougied, then told me I wasn't about that life.
Would it be crossing a line if I told him that I now know his girlfriend has a huge mole on her left ass cheek?
It's a good thing you're straight. You'd make a horrible lesbian.
She just started crying. With my dick still inside her. Something about her grandpa.
I accidentally mass texted his dick pic. Not only to my friends, but to my dad as well...
its like i get a dick upgrade with every new guy i screw, at this rate i'm scared to see my next one
i just swapped my iPhone for a happy meal. this is greg btw, the hooker let me borrow her phone
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