Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
He could list all of the presidents! Every one, and in order!! I was so impressed the least I could do was give him a blow job.
Ah, yes. Making our founding fathers proud.
Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
WE'RE FINALLY ADMITTING THAT WE DESPERATELY WANT TO SCREW EACH OTHER. THIS IS WHAT PROGRESS FEELS
Ugh I can't even look at alcohol this weekend, my body needs to heal.
A big dick and how quickly they respond to snapchat is all I look for in a guy
I'm the kind of girl who misses her mouth when trying to eat, do you honestly think I'm coordinated enough to wear heels during sex?
Nothing kills the mood like him going to slap my ass and he hits his balls at the same time
I don't want any of this. I just want big sausages.
And that is why I love you so much. You have the same cold black heart as me.
I had to put my dog down, accidentally outed my brother, and was given a fucking fish sandwich instead of a Big Mac ALL IN ONE DAY! Am I really the person you want to consult for advice? Hhhmmmmmm?
you woke me up at 1am last night high on cough syrup to tell me jay z was an idiot for cheating on beyonce
Then you fell out of your chair, looked right at me and said, "You are sooo drunk."
Is it appropriate to be taking shots at 11 on sunday?
Absolutely same thing as church only different
Is there any reason why a taxidermic donkey head is in the shower?
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