Oh man I wish you'd been in the car w/ me today. I followed a school bus home filled w/ young boys and I flipped them off the entire way. They loved it.
it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
i swear i just saw perry the platypus. the fuck dude. i shouldnt even know who that is
I've come to realize sober is a rare time of the day.
We need to get her a baby shower present. And no, a blow up sex doll with her dead boyfriends picture stuck to it, is not appropriate.
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
I just discovered I can sober up while teaching class
Eating pizza and drinking wine while I watch the Victoria's Secret Fashion Show. The wine is for reducing the pain of falling asleep with more insecurities than what I woke up with.
Driving home this morning in my minion costume makes me rethink the 0 tint on my windows.
He was making a joke about signing my name on this piece of paper. He has a whole bucket filled with names on pieces of paper. I think thats how he keeps count.
I woke up with my shoes still on and my pants around my ankles cause I couldn't get them over my shoes
Some days, I wish I could get a hug from a furry muppet
We did blind alcohol taste testing and she got 10 of 10. I'm in love.
You think I could convince him that having sex with another girl isn't cheating?
sober me needs to have more faith in drunk me.
Randomize
