Marriage: a sacred union between one man and one woman, and another woman in Argentina.
It's not true, it's not true! She's too full of cheese to have sexy time!
Just saw a group of asian tourists in safari outifts bow in thanks to the starbucks guys. And no Im not high.
new low: my hungover self just mistook bacon grease for mashed potatoes. worst. mistake. ever.
I'm sitting in the middle of them on his bed, forcing them to watch Brokeback Mountain. I am the best cock blocker ever.
It was awful until we put her on a word ration. And she rationed her words accordingly. I love blondes.
I think im definitely allergic to shell fish. Or hungover. Probably both.
Was this before or after he told that homeless man outside the bar about his past sexual experiences?
You're in the clear; you and Andrew did not joint fingerbang that girl on the dance floor last night.
you closed your eyes and pointed to a cupboard..there was vodka on the top shelf. your sixth sense is amazing. plus, we convinced the foreign kid you're a booze whisperer
However today I got my lube that might I add was dripping out of the box. I'd like to think my mailman was mixing business with pleasure.
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
I'm not sure what exactly you were planning, but you kept yelling that we were going to need a lot of midgets and a lawyer.
Pregnancy test = positive. Hope you still have our old guess who game 'cause daddy elimination begins now.
Dude, seriously, fucking stop introducing me as "Thomas, with the dick piercing." you are the worst wingman ever.
Randomize
