Your girlfriend is a south jersey whore
The worst part was when my mom got more drunk than anyone else and started doing the Time Warp.
just smash crush and snort whatever we can get our paws on
I knew I fell for you for a reason
I fucked your brother... Hey, at least we know he is not gay... You're welcome.
I've never seen a homeless man jog to get off the bus and then run to his panhandling spot because he's "late for work," but you see something new every day.
Do not buy whiskey under any circumstances. There should be a UN sanctioned buffer zone between me and Seagrams.
you really cant fit homeless dj into your budget? doubles as charity
STOP LICKING HIS MUSTACHE
I don't think people appreciate how hard it is to fuck in a portapotty. Sarah and I had train for that shit.
My dad told me to bring weed to easter Sunday dinner..
I don't drink nearly as much when I'm coupled, and that's not a lifestyle I can commit to
I will never use my dick in anger. With great dick comes great responsibility
It stopped being casual for me when I waxed my vagina for you
He knocked me over backwards in my chair. I had a beer in each hand. Didn't spill a drop.
He tried to throw up into a beer bottle. It was a complete disaster. Vomit went everywhere. It put the Bellagio's fountain to shame.
Randomize
