I love you
are you drunk
yes but I def love you, we should get married
But I'm Jewish
embrace Jesus
Just barfed in my hand. Needless to say, this day is off to a great start
she must of just birthed a child cause her labia touched the floor
I'm at a free clinic. Feel like I should cough or sneeze so it's not blatantly obvious I'm getting checked for STI's.
The strip club called, they have your shoe.
I rode on his Vespa around Florence and fucked him in an empty train. It was like a way sluttier version of Lizzy McGuire
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
I let him watch sportscenter while we fucked. How did he repay me? I'm now missing class to get a shot in the ass for the clap. You and I are getting wasted and keying someone's car this weekend.
When someone comes out of your vagina and stomps on your dreams, you'll understand.
He is what would appear if the douche troop all had rings and we summoned someone like the Captain Planet kids.
I used the hope and guess method to figure out who I slept with last night.
I wore my Gollum shirt. It struck up a conversation AND got him staring at my boobs. That's a win-win.
Is it weird that sometimes I like to have sex for the health benefits and workout more than the pleasure
I'm sorry that you wanted to get laid and I all I did was play with your new cat instead.
ATTENTION: just found out of have strep. if we have had sex in the past week, might wanna go to the doctor. if you plan to have sex with me in the next 20 days go buy some condoms. stupid antibiotics.
Randomize
