So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
She was so high she ate a little piece of weed off her pants and thought it was food.
You think they'd ask my permission before turning Pajamarama into an orgy. I saw too many of my friends dicks at once the door got kicked down.
Yeah, half my ass was burnt and I was missing a shoe. I'm blaming you for the shoe.
Taking shot for every red box on your worst bracket. I have 30. I might die tonight.
My goal is to upperdeck the house I'm at, because it's some girl I don't know's birthday. Welcome to adulthood, bitch.
Don't worry, I'm preparing for tonight by lining my purse with a garbage bag.
I was grinding on him when mosquitoes starting biting us and ruined every damn thing. I just wanted to fuck on a slide under the stars. It's every girls dream.
She had pubes that could make an episode of Duck Dynasty. Fear the Vag Beard
I had a flashback of using my sock as a napkin after we got taco bell
and then you called me a third time and yelled that you were stealing a puppy named Willow
Its official... I need to stop being so slutty.. the guy I had sex with on friday delivered my jimmy johns tonight.
You can be responsible and still be on that ho life
How did your walk of shame include a trip to Walmart and how did you bump into the cop that arrested you last night there?
I’m going to bedazzle that dick
What does that even mean
No idea, but I guarantee he’ll get hard every time he remembers it
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