Remember that time i walked in on your friend taking a huge shit?
Remember that time you hooked up with him?
It's like sleeping with someone you met at a karaoke bar. It's never okay.
i wonder if detective benson from law and order takes those handcuffs home. i bet she does.
Today I made a list of everyone I have had sex with...there is more than double my age...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Your ability to be a slut in your nightmare astounds me
halloween is SO much better on drugs, why didn't anyone let us know about this when we were kids
And I was somehow convinced to wash the glassware at the bar topless.
I'm gonna go out in a limb and say living out middle school fantasies is never a good idea
Unlimited sex for unlimited netflix. I can deal with that. I think this is the first prostitution deal for netflix ever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I bruised my dick hopping over that fence last night
They found you popping and locking it alone in the parking lot
extra points if i make kids and or the elderly cry
You know I base where I go on the likelihood of me getting laid there. This includes work.
Smargarita sloshedurday tomorrow around 2
Bring a helmet for your liver
I was so high last night that at one point I kept licking his neck saying he tasted like soap and truffles.
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