Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
I was so drunk last night, I had to Wikipedia what i did.
you'll never believe how fucking awesome rain man is when you're stoned.
I have a pussy blister if you wanna poke at it with a needle tomorrow...by this text i realize just how strange our relationship is, especially because you're probably excited
I think you mean your blister is filled with pus...atleast i hope
I left when they started reinacting what appeared to be a jerry springer episode
I'm gonna have bed sores at the end of this hangover.
yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
I just got my inseam measured in raffle tickets by a drag queen. Being fondled for charity is awesome.
you kept yelling "this bitch stole my phone" to the guy who found you passed out in the parking lot
Minus the pink eye. Do I look fuckable tonight?
U have to come, I miss the sound of you throwing up.
I'm sorry, when did "I like your shit" become an acceptable pickup line?
It's a lube slip n slide down the hallway now. Details later.
His cat just sat there and simultaneously bobbed his head up and down while I blew him
Blueberry probiotics greatly increase to the masturbation experience. Try it dude. It’s all the rage
Randomize
