If God had a period, it would result in diet faygo redpop
wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision
I just discovered how perfect a shot glass is for putting your chicken nugget dipping sauces into. Like I'll probably do this when I'm a mother feeding my children.
I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
Just traded a samurai sword for some drugs. It's gonna be one random ass night
I don't know what happen last night but the fact that it's 9 am and I need to put my dick in something means it didn't go as planned.
Food Network. Taking bong rips everytime we want to eat. BOBBY FLAY.
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
I just had a contest with the toilet to see who could hold their breath longest.
I won
Yours weakened by children. Mine weakened by a forearm sized cock for 8 years.
Why do I have a missed call from "The Anaconda" ?
I'm not judging you. Just know that you could be Queen of The World. Instead you're 5:28 p.m ponging. I hope you're at least winning
I figured working in my office on the 34th floor I'd be safe railing xanax off my desk. Of course, I snort it just in time for the window washer guy to give me a thumbs up.
using my tits for other peoples nudes hit me up business in the making
He was singing on top of spaghetti, and then started crying. He said it was the saddest song ever, "so so sad".
Randomize
