Kirsten Dunst is sitting next to me in a bar in NYC
Tell her I want my money back for Elizabethtown.
normal stoners make pot brownies. gay stoners make pot chocolate covered cherries on a cinnamon graham cracker crust which by the way are very effective.
I told him I'd rather have sex with his father last night. I'll admit now that I was drunk.
A worker across the alley is wearing your sombrero sans cat barf.
the kid throwing up and laying face down on the deck just asked ME if I'M okay...
I got a letter from the home owners association saying its against policy to have sex on the trampoline.
Cute boy and deffffff wearing a HS shirt. I am getting too old to be inaccurate.
I was living a snoop dogg song I fucked her on the floor so I wouldn't mess up my bed
Please tell me there is not a bookmark on your browser with the title "Christmas Porn"
Found my ex-boyfriend's money stash. Call the girls, we are getting fucked up tonight, my treat.
I tried to take home a cat on broadway last night. I named him Pinocchio and put my purse down on the sidewalk and tried to put it inside it
Aaaaand my mom is wearing jeggings...
My rule for unemployment is that I can't smoke before noon.
I haven't gotten up before 1 though, so it hasn't really impacted me.
He left for work so I drank pickle juice from his fridge
Is this a Beer, Vodka or Whiskey kind of problem solving night? It's imperative I stock accordingly.
Questions like that are why I love you.
Randomize
