You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
If she catches me sniffing the seat of her office chair again, she's either going to fire me or fuck me
I've decided to film a documentary centered around how he manages to keep that beast caged in such tight pants
Yeah. My legs are trembling...hard to walk. Feels like a neon arrow is pointing at me saying "just had sex (with not his wife)"
you know that annoying kid in my psych class? accidentally hit him in the face with a door today. perfect end to the semester.
You asked him for a membership to him and his dick.
She knocked me and my drink to the ground with her ass. I have never been mad at someone for having a glorious booty.
She unfriended me on Facebook after I responded to her long love note with #demtittesdoe. Jager is the goddamned devil.
So last night took an interesting turn.. Never thought I'd say I had to pick up my glasses off the floor of a strip club
On another note- any interest in going to a gay bar to hit on 19yr olds?
If he sends me a dick pic so help me god.
So I totally had sex In a teepee last night at that wedding reception.
he kissed both of us goodnight when we dropped him off...I didn't know if I was more offended or impressed
Have you ever wanted to murder the Sun? To bring the life-giving fusion reactor to a bitter end because of the sheer agony it brings to your eyes as it keeps you awake. And for waking the birds. Fuck birds.
I thought it turned out lovely. You got to see me almost naked and I got to be stoned to the point I was content with
Wtf when were you almost naked??
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