Jon and Kate are totally playing with my emotions.
i mean i care more about their marriage then my own parents
the hot woman interviewing me is reading jokes off the back of laffy taffy.... I'm getting laid and possibly a job
She made a list of the things each of us had done wrong and assigned a point system. Guess who came out the loser?
they said he just opened the front of his shirt and threw up alll over himself
well now i know if i ever need to drive puke and talk on the phone at the same time i can
I vagually remember taking your birthcontrol and washing it down with ash water
You can't be mad because the taco bell people like me and not you. I'm not the one that puked in front of them.
You are NEVER going to guess whose penis was JUST in my mouth!!!
I'll give you a hint, we ate paste with him in kindergarten.
Brownies hit. And just found beer. And the bill cosby show is on. And its in spanish.
And I told him that even though were not together, if he has sex with anyone I would have sex with someone else, video tape it and send it to him.
I was expecting it to be of the "I am your vagina's reckoning" caliber.
Notice how both of our plans for hooking up with these guys involve getting them drunk?
Oh my God, we're like men but with great boobs.
He said he loved me more than Kel loves orange soda
the result of growing up in the '90's
You were so drunk last night that you fell thru the bathroom door at the bar, ripping it off the hinges in the process. But, your birthday tiara stayed on thru the whole thing. I'd call it a succcessful evening. Happy birthday kiddo!
Our sex sesh was interrupted by a bunch of hobos fighting outside his apartment.
Randomize
