If I saw Perez Hilton naked I think I would stick a lit candle down my throat.
Urine might work for jellyfish stings, but we found out it doesn't work well for nose bleeds...
tell me how i ended up in the movie theater alone with a bottle of smirnoff and a bendy straw.
he woke up with $200 in his pocket and had to buy his cell phone back from a hobo at the bus stop.
I'll be honest with you, my dick was out at that point in time.
If you listen closely you can hear the sound of inbreeding and shame.
I think I may have walked up to her while she was with her friends and asked for a "do over".
The cop let me finish my J before he cuffed me. Coolest arresting officer ever.
He literally named all the parts of the vagina as he fingered me. No more pre-med virgins.
Made up a full house drinking game
On my way.
Son of a bitch took my liquid eyeliner
We have had more Sex in the past 48 hours then we have in the past 3 months. I think it was from me dressing up as Darth Vader.
I woke up at 6 and was laying at the top of my stairs.
He lit a shoe on fire and tried putting it out by peeing on it
i ordered what the bartender said was called a pink cock, and kept saying it tastes like a disney princess. thats how my 21st bday went
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