Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(+44): View more from England

Just had to open a tuna can with a spoon. Gave me a sense of hunting for my own food.

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(847): View more from Illinois

okay, this is the fifth time he asked if it was in yet. maybe i shouldn't have dated a blind guy.

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(978): View more from Massachusetts

we're all still whores. we just have a theme song now.

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(407): View more from Florida

we have 69 mutual friends...i have to add her

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23 Strangest Things That Gave Dudes A Boner
Read it at the TFLN blog
(212): View more from New York

Woke up naked on my floor covered in cookies. We should celebrate fake hurricanes every weekend.

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(304): View more from West Virginia

I dropped my blunt out the window of a moving car by accident, tell me everything will be okay

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(765): View more from Indiana

It is 9pm, let the ass parade to the bars begin

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(801): View more from Utah

I'm counting my small victories this morning. For instance, I haven't puked at work yet.

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(727): View more from Florida

"Being an adult" and "being happy" are two circles that do not overlap in my Venn diagram of life.

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