Texts From Last Night

• Favorite

  (805): View more from California

  Dude. I just woke up without a shirt or bra on. Apparently I fell asleep with a quesadilla in my mouth. I can feel my liver hating me.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (805): Dude. I just woke up without a shirt or bra on. Apparently I fell asleep with a quesadilla in my mouth. I can feel my liver hating me. http://tfl.nu/gsfp
  Replies (18) Good night (1036) Bad night (535)
• Favorite

  (585): View more from New York

  okay so using the row boat as a giant snow sled probably wasn't the best idea.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (585): okay so using the row boat as a giant snow sled probably wasn't the best idea. http://tfl.nu/vuoh
  Replies (28) Good night (5583) Bad night (656)
• Favorite

  (203): View more from Connecticut

  he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...

  (1-203): View more from Connecticut

  your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (203): he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible... (1-203): your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen http://tfl.nu/mgfl
  Replies (20) Good night (5477) Bad night (1072)
• Favorite

  (617): View more from Massachusetts

  I wish his dick was as long as his hair.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (617): I wish his dick was as long as his hair. http://tfl.nu/x3k7
  Replies (13) Good night (1026) Bad night (6744)
• Favorite

  (207): View more from Maine

  he tried to make a toast, but hit the moving ceiling fan with his beer instead

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (207): he tried to make a toast, but hit the moving ceiling fan with his beer instead http://tfl.nu/s4ov
  Replies (7) Good night (3193) Bad night (1046)
• Favorite

  (904): View more from Florida

  all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (904): all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home. http://tfl.nu/xqx6
  Replies (9) Good night (771) Bad night (3009)
• Favorite

  (724): View more from Pennsylvania

  The two guys from next door helped him do a backflip. The ended up throwing him halfway through a ceiling tile. Don't worry, we fixed it with duct tape.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (724): The two guys from next door helped him do a backflip. The ended up throwing him halfway through a ceiling tile. Don't worry, we fixed it with duct tape. http://tfl.nu/5pgg
  Replies (5) Good night (2272) Bad night (779)
• Favorite

  (410): View more from Maryland

  They woke me up at 4 in the morning screaming "drunk adventure time!" because they needed a sober chaperone. They made me walk them around the block shoeless.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (410): They woke me up at 4 in the morning screaming "drunk adventure time!" because they needed a sober chaperone. They made me walk them around the block shoeless. http://tfl.nu/y6il
  Replies (9) Good night (2660) Bad night (1110)
• Favorite

  (937): View more from Ohio

  No, he's ok. He just broke his teeth on the stripper pole. No biggie.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (937): No, he's ok. He just broke his teeth on the stripper pole. No biggie. http://tfl.nu/4p3o
  Replies (5) Good night (793) Bad night (1564)
• Favorite

  (520): View more from Arizona

  Its... i dont even know. theres lots of rap music and i cant find my shoes

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (520): Its... i dont even know. theres lots of rap music and i cant find my shoes http://tfl.nu/y839
  Replies (3) Good night (1376) Bad night (634)
• Favorite

  (573): View more from Missouri

  Sometimes things go your way and sometimes you get hit on by a fat drunk girl.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (573): Sometimes things go your way and sometimes you get hit on by a fat drunk girl. http://tfl.nu/slvk
  Replies (4) Good night (530) Bad night (1246)
• Favorite

  (702): View more from Nevada

  I'm just saying, no one has ever made me laugh or cum as hard as you do. Sometimes at the same time which I didn't know was possible. Is there even a word for that besides love?

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (702): I'm just saying, no one has ever made me laugh or cum as hard as you do. Sometimes at the same time which I didn't know was possible. Is there even a word for that besides love? http://tfl.nu/7zb0
  Replies (19) Good night (4253) Bad night (576)
• Favorite

  (414): View more from Wisconsin

  You paid at the door and they gave you a straw for the kiddie pool full of booze.

  (414): View more from Wisconsin

  After a bit there were two girls who got naked and liquor wrestled. I don't think it was planned.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (414): You paid at the door and they gave you a straw for the kiddie pool full of booze. (414): After a bit there were two girls who got naked and liquor wrestled. I don't think it was planned. http://tfl.nu/wsrv
  Replies (6) Good night (1307) Bad night (387)
• Favorite

  (907): View more from Alaska

  I'm so glad I was blacked out while I was going all exorcist in the bathroom. That's so not a memory I want.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (907): I'm so glad I was blacked out while I was going all exorcist in the bathroom. That's so not a memory I want. http://tfl.nu/b2fd
  Replies (2) Good night (215) Bad night (405)
• Favorite

  (248): View more from Michigan

  I just offered a cat a "drinky drinky" I'd say my night has started

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (248): I just offered a cat a "drinky drinky" I'd say my night has started http://tfl.nu/udux
  Replies (1) Good night (389) Bad night (196)

Randomize