I just fucked a rockette. This would have been amazing a week ago.
There is no excuse for watching a Jesse McCartney movie.
the ex, the guy i cheated on the ex with and the rebound are about to form a beer pong team at my party. is it bad i feel accomplished my pussy brought their union together?
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
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I feel like I just gave a blowjob to a freight train.
I just threw up over a bridge. I didn't even know there was a bridge in this town. Vodka is like a transportation device.
I'm sitting on our balcony drunk. And in my underwear. Our relationship with our neighbors may improve.
Im rolling face in a pizzeria. I want to be with people who love me.
Your niece just basically announced she's a whore on FB so you should feel pretty good about officiating that wedding next month.
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He ran into the surf holding up a cigarette yelling "let the Olympic games begin!" So no, no vodka left.
Oddly enough I feel totally fine now. Clonazapam and red bull the breakfast of champions.
There's always a silver lining when massive voluptuous tits are involved
Pretty sure at some point last night i said to myself "it'll be fun to completely lose my mind for a night"
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
Let's celebrate our country being screwed by screwing.