Texts From Last Night

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  (517): View more from Michigan

  yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.

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  (517): yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox. http://tfl.nu/4oix
  Replies (4) Good night (612) Bad night (764)
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  (858): View more from California

  I just spent an unhealthy amount of money overnighting a full adult sized Trix Rabbit Halloween costume

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  (858): I just spent an unhealthy amount of money overnighting a full adult sized Trix Rabbit Halloween costume http://tfl.nu/37b5
  Replies (16) Good night (4744) Bad night (918)
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  (210): View more from Texas

  By the grace of god and the ingenuity of Alexander Graham Bell, this text message is made possibe: YOU ARE A WHORE

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  (210): By the grace of god and the ingenuity of Alexander Graham Bell, this text message is made possibe: YOU ARE A WHORE http://tfl.nu/98pz
  Replies (32) Good night (9255) Bad night (1044)
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  (516): View more from New York

  my mom just asked me why she found a half-eaten burrito in the hamper

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  (516): my mom just asked me why she found a half-eaten burrito in the hamper http://tfl.nu/iwmr
  Replies (12) Good night (3923) Bad night (986)
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  (336): View more from North Carolina

  I jerked off enough times today to safely commit to the fact that im not getting laid tonight

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  (336): I jerked off enough times today to safely commit to the fact that im not getting laid tonight http://tfl.nu/7krg
  Replies (8) Good night (1028) Bad night (3533)
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  (443): View more from Maryland

  Uh, do you remember who's thong is in my tree?

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  (443): Uh, do you remember who's thong is in my tree? http://tfl.nu/odr7
  Replies (10) Good night (3013) Bad night (977)
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  (+27): View more from South Africa

  He's had mdma poured down his throat. He's getting huggy.

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  (+27): He's had mdma poured down his throat. He's getting huggy. http://tfl.nu/pi4j
  Replies (4) Good night (1714) Bad night (871)
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  (760): View more from California

  But first time having sex and he went down on me twice?! I'm gonna marry this guy

  (530): View more from California

  I'll make sure to include that in my bridesmaid toast

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  (760): But first time having sex and he went down on me twice?! I'm gonna marry this guy (530): I'll make sure to include that in my bridesmaid toast http://tfl.nu/lbbf
  Replies (11) Good night (3266) Bad night (578)
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  (828): View more from North Carolina

  I said you have to fuck the german guy and take one for the team...it's a once in a lifetime opportunity you know.

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  (828): I said you have to fuck the german guy and take one for the team...it's a once in a lifetime opportunity you know. http://tfl.nu/l3hv
  Replies (11) Good night (1118) Bad night (550)
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  (801): View more from Utah

  The Angel on my shoulder is now resorting to merely reminding me that, "You will regret this later." I'm not sure if he's learning how I think or just giving up. Either way, should make life a bit more interesting.

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  (801): The Angel on my shoulder is now resorting to merely reminding me that, "You will regret this later." I'm not sure if he's learning how I think or just giving up. Either way, should make life a bit more interesting. http://tfl.nu/bouz
  Replies (3) Good night (1007) Bad night (540)
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  (516): View more from New York

  When we picked him up this morning the cop said that if they actually arrested every drunk American who pissed on cathedral doors, Spain wouldn't have any room for real prisoners.

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  (516): When we picked him up this morning the cop said that if they actually arrested every drunk American who pissed on cathedral doors, Spain wouldn't have any room for real prisoners. http://tfl.nu/d16h
  Replies (1) Good night (1553) Bad night (590)
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  (440): View more from Ohio

  Did you know there is a guy on the porch, wrapped in your snuggie, singing no woman no cry and drinking wine coolers?

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  (440): Did you know there is a guy on the porch, wrapped in your snuggie, singing no woman no cry and drinking wine coolers? http://tfl.nu/175a
  Replies (2) Good night (1023) Bad night (320)
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  (740): View more from Ohio

  I was afraid she wouldn't be able keep up but I woke up in a bathtub, she called me a pussy and made me pancakes.

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  (740): I was afraid she wouldn't be able keep up but I woke up in a bathtub, she called me a pussy and made me pancakes. http://tfl.nu/v5b0
  Replies (4) Good night (857) Bad night (457)
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  (+44): View more from United Kingdom

  I want a battle ostrich, get me a battle ostrich and then come and make love to me

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  (+44): I want a battle ostrich, get me a battle ostrich and then come and make love to me http://tfl.nu/ggvm
  Replies (2) Good night (814) Bad night (234)
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  (262): View more from Wisconsin

  Sally, Your mom and my mom hooked up in college, we must uphold this tradition.

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  (262): Sally, Your mom and my mom hooked up in college, we must uphold this tradition. http://tfl.nu/kdlv
  Replies (2) Good night (966) Bad night (166)

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