I felt like helen keller
But she could have totally found that shit before me
I really wish i had a penis so i could dick slap that bitch right now
if you don't go to jail tommorow I'll buy you a 40. Motivation.
Some dude at the gas station right now is buying a 30 rack of beast and a can of cat food. Happy Thanksgiving.
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
found some acid from a couple months ago while looking through christmas lights. Looks like santa came early this year.
the recent google searches were "were can i buy a porn horse, why does my heart hurt after drinking, and orlando's teen night..." your thought process perplexes me
Valium party in the driveway. Attendance: 1. Don't make me do this alone.
I voted for him because his wife supports his raging sex life.
knew i was gonna lose at a shoe or be bleeding at some point. and both happened within 20 mins.
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
Well at least he is okay. If you call the fetal position in my living room floor "okay"...
Oh my god what did I do. My hands are scraped, there are pickles on the floor, my clothes are wet, and I don't remember how I get here. Thank you.
Hey.. there are 2 people i've never met before spooning in the bathtub. Please elaborate on what went down last night.
Nothing like cleaning dried puke off your floor to make you feel like you've failed as an adult.
He's sitting in his room on Facebook with nothing but a pillow covering his crotch. I can't help you at the moment.
She didn't get a tit job, she's just wearing the right size bra for once