Texts From Last Night

• Favorite

  (202): View more from Washington, DC

  when does round two start

  (703): View more from Virginia

  I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (202): when does round two start (703): I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent http://tfl.nu/4op2
  Replies (0) Good night (1331) Bad night (697)
• Favorite

  (901): View more from Tennessee

  Im bringing wine tonight. Its from a merlot from nashville. i bet it'll taste like infidelity and teenage pregnancy.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (901): Im bringing wine tonight. Its from a merlot from nashville. i bet it'll taste like infidelity and teenage pregnancy. http://tfl.nu/fpgv
  Replies (16) Good night (3576) Bad night (744)
• Favorite

  (419): View more from Ohio

  it really sends the message that i like to impregnate mortal women and have them birth fantastic half man-half god infants.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (419): it really sends the message that i like to impregnate mortal women and have them birth fantastic half man-half god infants. http://tfl.nu/uvta
  Replies (40) Good night (3319) Bad night (746)
• Favorite

  (914): View more from New York

  i just saw someone crawling up the stairs to the dorm while screaming "i have the best vagina!"

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (914): i just saw someone crawling up the stairs to the dorm while screaming "i have the best vagina!" http://tfl.nu/2ify
  Replies (16) Good night (7339) Bad night (932)
• Favorite

  (479): View more from Arkansas

  So... 5th graders can't whisper for shit, but apparently I have an awesome rack.

  (307): View more from Wyoming

  Haha. Niice.

  (479): View more from Arkansas

  Yeah, I didn't know whether to be shocked or flattered.

  (307): View more from Wyoming

  both.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (479): So... 5th graders can't whisper for shit, but apparently I have an awesome rack. (307): Haha. Niice. (479): Yeah, I didn't know whether to be shocked or flattered. (307): both. http://tfl.nu/wvm3
  Replies (46) Good night (6101) Bad night (974)
• Favorite

  (740): View more from Ohio

  i've met an abundance of virgins and guys who where flip flops, i thinks there's a correlation

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (740): i've met an abundance of virgins and guys who where flip flops, i thinks there's a correlation http://tfl.nu/vlgs
  Replies (12) Good night (1279) Bad night (2728)
• Favorite

  (336): View more from North Carolina

  If I die tonight. Just know that chicken I made fuckin ruled. Recipe: Chicken with a shitload oF spice

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (336): If I die tonight. Just know that chicken I made fuckin ruled. Recipe: Chicken with a shitload oF spice http://tfl.nu/pivk
  Replies (8) Good night (3728) Bad night (834)
• Favorite

  (207): View more from Maine

  No, not at all. Pulling a condom out of your vag at 2pm is NOTHING like finding $10 in your winter coat. Stop trying to make me feel better.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (207): No, not at all. Pulling a condom out of your vag at 2pm is NOTHING like finding $10 in your winter coat. Stop trying to make me feel better. http://tfl.nu/mlps
  Replies (14) Good night (1500) Bad night (4065)
• Favorite

  (806): View more from Texas

  Showed up 2 hours late and still drunk nobody gave me a high five. This intership is bullshit.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (806): Showed up 2 hours late and still drunk nobody gave me a high five. This intership is bullshit. http://tfl.nu/v64d
  Replies (5) Good night (990) Bad night (2428)
• Favorite

  (304): View more from West Virginia

  i woke up in his neighbors pool house. Not sure how I got here but there is people swimming outside. how do I escape?

  (301): View more from Maryland

  just fucking run.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (304): i woke up in his neighbors pool house. Not sure how I got here but there is people swimming outside. how do I escape? (301): just fucking run. http://tfl.nu/0wzu
  Replies (5) Good night (3116) Bad night (662)
• Favorite

  (352): View more from Florida

  All I could think when I saw it was, "All right, Vagina, only one of us is getting out of this alive."

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (352): All I could think when I saw it was, "All right, Vagina, only one of us is getting out of this alive." http://tfl.nu/krpq
  Replies (10) Good night (2234) Bad night (1063)
• Favorite

  (519): View more from Ontario

  All i really wanna do tonight is get drunk with you and dance on tables. is that too much to ask?

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (519): All i really wanna do tonight is get drunk with you and dance on tables. is that too much to ask? http://tfl.nu/p3wm
  Replies (3) Good night (1404) Bad night (554)
• Favorite

  (859): View more from Kentucky

  You were so calm and collected as you strolled out the door with 40 mcdonalds cups in your arms. It was legendary.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (859): You were so calm and collected as you strolled out the door with 40 mcdonalds cups in your arms. It was legendary. http://tfl.nu/khbo
  Replies (5) Good night (1058) Bad night (400)
• Favorite

  (336): View more from North Carolina

  No it's only my right leg that feels like it's about to fall off. The left is fine.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (336): No it's only my right leg that feels like it's about to fall off. The left is fine. http://tfl.nu/r6ac
  Replies (1) Good night (372) Bad night (533)
• Favorite

  (760): View more from California

  Bro if you were a bird I would puke in your mouth right now

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (760): Bro if you were a bird I would puke in your mouth right now http://tfl.nu/y22e
  Replies (4) Good night (420) Bad night (518)

Randomize