NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
I'm a big fan of 2 things right now: 1) Gatorade and 2) the fetal position
you rubbed the head of my dick and said "I shall call you Squishy and you shall be mine and you shall be my Squishy."
i know. thats why i need an open bar. i'll get hammered and make a toast about how his dick is like the titanic. large, but full of failure.
I Never golf you the sypdu of andrew. The one o will marry. The one j plwgded my last breath up. The one I pledged everything I live forbworh to. I love him more than life itself
The "puke-towel" started to grow something...
We just found a knife wedged in between the cushions on the couch you guys fucked on...why is this?
Apparently Bin Ladens last act of terrorism is cock blocking me....
Someone just told me I have an ass that could kill small children .... Don't know how to take that one
stoners and superglue do NOT mix
he stole a smokey from the street meat vendor and put it in his pocket when she wasn't looking and now we're drinking avocado margaritas
My neck is PURPLE. This is NOT a good day to be indoctrinated by the cardinal...
ill be home in an hour. Be in my bed ready for disappointment
First contact since we had sex and it's to get my HBO password. I sure pick winners huh
I just put on my bra while peeing. I fear this will be my big achievement of the day.
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