i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
When I was her age, Pluto was still a planet... but i said what the hell
I think I have swimmer's ear. From his tongue.
my dentist asked me why my tooth was chipped, i told him i couldn't remember. i think he understands.
Thank you, bloody toiletpaper I found in the hamper. I was worried that today was going to be boring.
yes, i was eatting raw cookie dough and fingering myself at the same time.... is there a problem?
HEAR YE, HEAR YE! BY ROYAL DECREE, I WILL BE KNOCKING ON YOUR DOOR AT 2PM UNLESS YOU GET THE FUCK UP. IT'S 1:50. CIGARETTE TIME, BITCH. I LOVE YOU.
I am broke enough to accept it. If I get poisoned, you can have my shoes
She sucked my dick and I swear I almost had to send a search party into her mouth to find it. IT WAS THAT AMAZING.
Weekend plan is a big bag of dope, delivery food, Bollywood marathon and masterbating my dick raw.
I WILL BE THE BEST FICTITIONAL HISTORICAL FIGURE FOR THE FEMENIST MOVEMENT THE WORLD HAS EVER SEEN
when I went into his room, he was sleeping on his stomach, almost as if to silently say, "you're not touching my dick tonight".
Two drag queens are fighting over me. And yet the night is still getting weirder
Btw when I was saying "fuck you" I meant it like "be quiet beautiful princess"
I'm not sure you count what happened last night as sex.
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