I think i just called up my ex and talked to her for 20 minutes about frogs and how happy i am to be wearing shorts
No, we ended up finding him drunk at a bus stop downtown sitting on the bench asking people for chocolates and amazing stories to "rid his mind of his whore of a girlfriend"
I woke up to 30 angry texts and her Chihuahua in my room. Can you drop him off for me?
So the "just a friend" kid confessed his love for me...sometimes I hate how awesome I am.
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
I can't wait to see her breast feed this thing
I'm pretty sure God is rooting for me with this two gf thing
At this point do you think buying mom a pot plant would be funny or highly inappropriate?
You did a strip tease for the toilet.
I can't even go pee because I'm making sure he doesn't run off somewhere naked.
We're knee deep in HJ's right now.
I'm turning twenty & the only honorable way to exit my teens is by slapping the fuck outta the bag. You better be in.
Who died my cat blue again?
in your professional opinion, what's the most elegant way of saying "sorry I spent all night flirting with you, I thought you were gay" ?
so i find a box of condoms inside my car with turn by turn directions to her bedroom... kinda freaked out cause she got my address and somehow inside my car
Randomize
