so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator
you didnt stop her?
too entertaining
I want my own midget army. I think I would be a good midget army leader.
You tried to convince her that if she gave you head she'd hear the ocean.....
a cemetary is a place for people to rest in peace and you just spermed all over their land
where are my pants?
you were passing out with two blankets and the person next to you was cold so you gave him your pants to keep warm
My epitaph should read "Margaritas: she never learned"
it glows. i had to have it.
She sat on the stairs and yelled sex positions at us. I don't remember if we went along with it but judging by the beer and condoms I'm thinking yes.
Oh, and trying to figure out who wants to do Molly in a frat is like asking damn children if they want puppies and candy. So just bring as much as possible.
Carving a pumpkin in a gay bar at 2am. How did my life get to be this way.
If I don't get my shit together, I'm going to be one of those really fucked up cases on 1000 ways to die
In related news... Actually, nope. I don't have any orgy-related news. You win.
My husband has seen you naked more times this week than me. I don't consider it a bad thing since you keep bringing the booze to our house. And because my tits are bigger.
If catching your vomit in my hands while swimming in a bath tub full of it doesn't make us best friends, I don't know what will
SOME DUDE PUT OUT FOR A MCCHICKEN AND YET YOU STILL WON'T FUCK ME
Randomize
