She kept screaming "yeah! You pick up my books!" the whole time. . .
Just witnessed a fat girl fall off the treadmill, pop a medicine ball, and drink coke out of a water bottle all in one workout.
the tow truck driver and i bonded while discussing our experiences with four lokos
Todays life lesson brought to you by last nights half pitchers of cheap sangria: you'll never get the stain or the SMELL of sangria vomit out of your bedroom carpet.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you threw up into the pocket of your shirt. which was pretty damn polite
She kept telling me to calm down. I was on the floor with my eyes shut, not moving. In levels of calm I was one step above coma patient
Dude, did you really "knight me" and tell me I had permission to bang your sister last night?
She dresses cool and she's mean. And she has fake boobs I feel like I can relate to her on so many levels.
All I really remember is shouting "THANKS FOR LETTING ME MAKE OUT WITH YOUR GIRLFRIEND."
What can I say? You have this amazing power over straight girls.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need an inhaler full of pot for all of this breathless rage.
This day took a left turn at "This is your going away party, I got a bunch of blow."
tbh I think I just dated him for his dogs in the first place.
I will be the DD but everyone has to call me Mistress
It was ok until his mom walked in and asked if he turned on the crock-pot...
I just met him at a place called the meat farm, Jesus be a shield.
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