Can I come over?
Can't... I'm at class right now.
No your not
I'm outside by your car.
either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
I saw a chick at 8 am this morning walking back to my dorm wearing wings... I'm kind of jealous.
Why does Thanksgiving make hot girls feel disgusting and fat girls feel horny? Its killing my prospects.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you know it's time to start studying when you've procrastinated to the point where you're reading your roommate's ex-boyfriend's wall posts from 2006.
I just spewed blue gatorade in the shower. It looked like the ocean.
He refused my I'm sry gift of ANAL. That's how angry he was.
We found her in the fireplace eating dog biscuits.
Congrats. You are not detrimental enough to my psyche to be discussed during this mornings therapy appointment. Please follow up next week to see if you made the cut.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When we were texting for those few weeks, I some how established a crush on you. And its weird and wild and stupid and silly. But these things just have to be said sometimes to determine what's real and what is infatuation. And to suffer the consequences of five am drunk philosophy. No regrets.
As much as I trust your struggle imma deal with being Eskimo brothers with my own sister before I get to that
I snuck out of his room and his roommate stopped me to tell me there was a condom stuck to my back
What's the world record for number of orgasms reached on ones birthday? Asking for a friend.
Remember that cop that blew me in the parking lot a few weeks ago? He's possibly with his wife and kids shopping at Target.
We need to catch up immediately. I took ecstasy and made out with carrot face this weekend.
Randomize