ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
I wasn't trying to make you feel bad, I just agreed with you that your life does suck.
The doctor put me on 3000 mg of amoxicillin a day. Which, for a sinus infection, seems pretty excessive to me.
Maybe he was just trying to knock out any potential ghonorrhea you might be carrying around.
Ah, my reputation precedes me.
Oh btw I took the eighth out of the plastic wrap so I could use it to wrap my red pepper. This can be seen as either pathetic or resourceful.
French people screaming and throwing stuff out the window. We told the manager and he's pissed and going up there. This is gonna be like cops. Maybe better than cops.
if you didn' use the plastic sword on the cop. maybe this wouldn't have happened.
His penis smells like laundry I just wanted to cuddle it
I asked my boss to leave early for a booty call. She said yes. See.... everyone sees it's important I get laid.
And that facial hair. He might as well shave it so it spells "douche" on one cheek and "nozzle" on the other.
How hard do you think it would be to make a drinking game out of a Slip-N-Slide? Asking for a friend.
Showed up to the airport to find my fuck buddy is on the same flight. Do you think he'd be intertested in the mile high club?
Chili is not acceptable fuck buddy food.
OMFG I JUST SEARCHED DILDO ON THE WORK SHARED AMAZON ACCOUNT!!!!!
I'm definitely not mad. My best friend is dating my drug dealer, it's impossible to be mad.
He was someone so memorable that I'd completely forgotten he'd existed up to and during the encounter
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