im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
I just got wrote up for "repeatedly smelling like alcohol"
That was long passed due.
I don't call you at 3 in the morning to start a fucking relationship.
Don't be a smartass. I'm trying to fuck a guy who's sober. It's more difficult than you think.
i know you like preteen girls so i'm gonna offer you some advice...dump a bucket of glitter on yourself and walk into the sunlight. they will come running.
He started to notice that i sleep with every girl he calls dibs on.
I wish we could tell the moving van to wait at the strip club for a while.
Nope. Too hot. We just sat in my tub with cold water spraying on us drinking coronas. This summer heat is killing my libido slowly
i was completely deserted.. so i stood outside starbucks for 20 minutes trying to convince the employees to open early and take care of me.. fuck you guys
You were walking away to pee and as you were undoing your belt you looked at me and said "the belt is off. the game is on. Remever that."
So I definitely fucked a guy while holding on to his pigtails like reigns last night.
The most literal cowgirl position ever.
Found sauce from last night's pizza rolls wedged under my phone case... While sitting in my 8 am class. What happened last night?
WELL THEN WHAT DAY IS IT?!?! This whole having to choose between ruining my future and ruining my liver is totally killing my vibe
My ex is having a baby and I'm over here planning my dogs birthday celebration...
When is the party?
You have to give it to him that he fucked me out of the dull weekdays.
Randomize
