i really wish my pants would only unzip when im sober
We all have a cross to bear. Yours just happens to be attracting gay men.
I was actually high enough at that point that I was just casually following your glowing footsteps like in Avatar while we ran from the cops.
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
You're gonna die alone anyway. Even if you do meet a man, they die earlier than women. Best case, you have to deal with grieving over his death and then die alone a couple years later. Worst case, you get a terminal illness and he divorces you, leaving you to die alone anyway.
Thanks, mom.
And we won't even have to pay the tab if we die AT the bar. So..win win.
Believe me. As soon as the boss man is out the door. I am on my way to wow your vagina with my horse-like attributes.
I feel like I'm in an ocean of eels jacking me off
I got carried out by security last night. AND the taxi had to drive up onto the sidewalk to get me i was that drunk.
nope. It turned out i wasnt the drunkest person asleep in tacobell parking lot.
So ran into your ex from sophomore year last night... Apparently hes gay and a stripper now. we all got lap dances because we knew you
it is shots o' clock and I am never late
Hahaha more like walk of pride. You entered the lions den last night.
This is random but I just wanted to thank you for all the things you taught me sexually in life.
Randomize
