Whoa Z and x make the same sound
tell me how a rose bowl party involves waking up to find a raccoon in my kitchen cabinet eating my oreos the next morning?
Puked on a Tom Jones impersonator on the strip
i gave her road head last night, needless to say it wasn't the same and i bit a chunk of the inside of my cheek off.
Just called the bar: "hi this is the girl who you kicked out for excessive bleeding, do you happen to have my coat?"
If taco bell and midol can't fix her, she's in gods hands now.
When the shrooms kicked in we both simultaneously realized we were not the right puzzle piece for the dubstep puzzle.
We made eye contact and were like we are not welcome here, the ravers are onto us and we need to get the fuck out before we get shuffled upon
If there's so much of a hint of a whisper from somebody I didn't tell personally, I will cut off your balls with a chainsaw, cauterize the wound with a flaming rusty spoon, feed your balls to your dog, and feed them to you when he shits them out, capiche?
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
My new roommate just announced that she got her period, popped a percoset, smoked a bowl, and started playing a video game. She says she's not moving till it's over. New hero?
Remember when you walked in on me sleeping INSIDE a pillowcase?
Needless to say, she forgave him, they're back together, and I'm seriously considering having a lesbian year.
Would it be sad if I made a blanket fort to get drunk in till the power came back?
If he refers to me as slump buster one more fucking time.
I want to buy weed from this guy on Tinder but I'm not sure I should trust him...but it's free delivery
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