Does transporting jello shots count as driving with an open container?
bad: friday night i tripped and fell outside my dorm. worse: i just found out i broke my ankle. worst: i was shitfaced and don't remember any of this.
Id love to say been there done that but im a slutty drunk not a stupid one.
positive spin of the day: since my nose is blocked from allergies cleaning the puke this morning was much easier
Life lesson. Learning to pee left handed is easier than learning brickbreaker left handed. Rather lose a few drops than a few lives
Just called the bar: "hi this is the girl who you kicked out for excessive bleeding, do you happen to have my coat?"
Want to get together for a boner voyage before you leave?
I guess I made wings because there's chicken everywhere. Even on the walls. 3 of them. It's like a chicken grave yard.
4 girls from the bar, me, strip basketball. here. NOW
I'm holding onto the sink for dear life. Pretty sure if Iet go I'll turn into a shit propelled man rocket.
you were making out with a guy that looked like Fat Albert, I kicked you in the vagina but you didn't stop
in other news, i feel like i just shat out all my sins.
all the one night stand stories i have end with me crying on my RA's floor stuffing cupcakes into my mouth
Stupid adulating
Yeah it sucks, but at least I can buy wine so it all comes out in the wash
Your penis caused this!
anything below 65° is too cold to be naked on a roof
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