found out the liquor store price matches. thus begins senior year of college
Well now I have my semen on her headphones
you set the microwave for an hour telling me that the done sound was your alarm.
I am not apologizing for rubbing my balls on your leg...that is a risk you take when you come out to the bar with me
Thanks for bailing me out last night guys. it's bullshit that everbeering people at bars is illegal. bitches have no sense of adventure anymore
My face feels like its stuck between a ball sack and an asshole.
Jerry got outside again, i found him making dirt angels in the garden. I need to put a bell on that bastard.
Not remembering where I left my grinder before vacation #stonerproblems
plus like he's kinda a piece of shit. a beautiful somewhat talented piece of shit that hella needs to get his life together
My friends got engaged today and I learned the techniques of going upside down on a stripper pole. I'm not really sure who won...
Hey so I got my period
Thank god I wasn't ready to deal with sober you for 9 months
High. As. Fuck. I thought the kid next to me didn't have an arm for like 2 hours.
Hahahaha I'm glad you woke me up with this text.
Is it disrespectful or patriotic to pole dance on an american flag pole?
Do you ever look at your life and go "i'm too sober for this bullshit"?
Every day of my life.
wow. that really looks like a penis. not a top hat
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