Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
we have to get out to the bar earlier. all of the guys are already committed to the girls they're going home with.
The last thing i remember was high fiving everyone on the planet.
His mom walked into the kitchen smiling, made a scotch on the rocks, hit my bong, and told us goodnight enthusiastically. He's suddenly more appealing to me.
let's remember the whole point of NYE: to drink antisocial amounts of antisocial drinks, become incoherent, ruin a carpet, talk to a tree, wake up with head sellotaped to toilet. The where/how is superfluous, my vote goes to a cupboard and a bottle of jaeger Questions?
Also I would love to pregame at your place if I weren't stuck at mine drinking laxatives
He literally just peed in a trash can in our room. It didn't even have a bag in it
YOU TOOK A FUCKING SNAP OF ME TRYING TO PEE! I'M GOING TO FUCK YOU WITH THE BUSINESS END OF A RUTED RAKE!
Breaking news: when you're gone every towel is a dick towel
OMFG. JUST WALKED IN ON A DUDE JERKING IT IN THE MCDONALDS BATHROOM
Stall or urinal?
you woke me up at 1am last night high on cough syrup to tell me jay z was an idiot for cheating on beyonce
Slept on the bathroom floor again. I hope when I turn 28 I’ll stop doing that
You’ll lick BBQ off my cock but no ketchup on a hotdog?
Interlocking vagina powers go!!'
Oh god, your drunk again aren't you?
The dog destroyed my vibrator and swallowed several pieces. Vet gave us a laxative so now I’m checking lots of dog shit and having no orgasms. Plus the cute vet knows I don’t get enough dick, so that’s just great
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