his text ended with ... everyone knows dot dot dot equals infer sexy time
They said "my eyes made me look intoxicated" ......we harassed them all night and we called the cops and told them that the bouncer that kicked us out was selling meth in the club ...and then we went to wendys
Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
By the way, turns out "Danny B" is his penis. Not his cousin. I was right.
Should I mail that cop his nightstick or just throw it away?
I just saw her shopping list. The only things on it are blackberries, hot fudge and condoms. I almost don't wanna know. Almost.
in a garage, wearing a toga, theyre debating the logistics of Coke Pong. If I don't make it out of here... it was me who stole your Barbie in the 4th grade- I've never forgiven myself.
Is this the 6 foot tall blonde I screwed in the bar last weekend?
In the bar?! Very impressive! But keep guessing!
I just want my birth control to stop making me feel like I'm watching baby seals get clubbed to death any time anything even remotely unpleasant happens lol
Pencil dick carries the name proudly.
Because 9 pm Thursday you drink a loco cause you just wanna get drunk and have a good time with your friends. Then you wake up on Tuesday and you've had 17 locos and you're pregnant, lying on the side of the road, 3 states over. THAT'S why we don't have only locos parties.
If my bootycall doesn't bring over a Baconnator, I swear to fucking God, I'm not letting him in. The hunger is that real. Forget his Persian dick.
Omg. I can't go on a date with this man. His kids are too ugly.
he had DANDRUFF in his PUBES. 0/10 would not blow again.
all i'm saying is don't blame me if your purses are filled with whoppers
are we talking malt balls or BK?
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