i just woke up i smell like fire, i have bruises on both knees and one elbow, i have a lighter and nip of smirnoff blueberry in my bed, rug burn on one hip and about 12 pics of you and me on my camera-this needs to stop happening
yea ive got to shower which is going to be painful given the skin burns from the blowup obstacle course races last night
I guess i tried to text 911 last night with "someone stole my bong." Thank god that doesn't work...
apparently it's not kosher to shit in a litter box when there's a line for the bathroom
i've lived in the woods for so long, as long as its post-op, i don't care.
remind me not to puke in the mesh trash can tonight
Last night I walked out of the bar got in a cab asked the cabi to circle the block. he did and brought me right back to the bar. I paid him $7 thanked him and walked back into the bar.
note to self, drunkenly bedazzeling the silverware was a stupid fucking idea
It was awful. Mid hookup he started reading the titles of the books over my bed, which were about Russian imperial history. He then started asking me questions about the class I was reading the books for. I was like "WE HAVE TIME FOR THAT LATER, PLEASE CONTINUE."
He showed up in booty shorts and no shirt and said dont laugh dont ask questions and give me a fucking final and no one in class said anything we just sat there speehless
Sometimes you get drunk and fall out of a car. I never said it was glamorous.
Pretty sure my body is in shock, I shouldn't feel this ok after last nite.
I'm almost too hungover to function. Got into the wrong car by mistake. there was a rotweiler in it. Thank god he was more confused than i was for a minute.
If I got paid for every bad decision I've made I would be one rich bitch by now
We watched Purple Rain and then proceeded to have sex while listening to the album. If that's not exactly how Prince would want people to honor him, I don't know what is
i feel like i shouldn't just had to send a text that said "no i will not eat your ass"
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