I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
life lesson learned today: sleeping pills and laxatives don't mix.
The only thing he got me during our relationship was a cum stain in my backseat. I choose winners.
dude my little brother busts into my room last night and yells did you know that grandma is hiding scrambled eggs between her legs
So the guy sitting next to me is watching dungeons and dragons on youtube. I didnt realize you could get more pathetic than actually playing the game.
Two girls I have never met just thumb wrestled to decide who gets to make out with me.
Please tell me that text was part of your elaborate Brett Favre costume; otherwise, dude, wtf?
Woke up to the sound of my own moans coming from the tv....evidently it was videotaped.
Just saw the guy with the plastic bag on his head riding his bike again...
mind if i send you a dick pic? so you can see what she wasn't doing right?
she said i was like a little lamb and she felt bad for luring me into her den of sin. then she blew me.
Being a virgin isn't supposed to be this easy for you.
He told me that his favorite part about me is hearing my voice while we fuck. I think that was the nicest thing he has EVER said to me.
My butt remains clenched, sir.
HAMMERED.. I made a peanut butter and jelly sandwich with toilet paper instead of bread...
Well I just masturbated while reading a recipe for Alfredo sauce so I guess you could say I’m growing up
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