he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
I just ate a cockroach and I want to be a fire truck.
I woke with a ring of glitter around my dick.... I kinda don't want to wash it off
How do I introduce myself to her without coming off as "the guy who jacks-off to her profile pic"?
It's like alcoholism for beginners at my kitchen table.
Pretty certain he passed out for a while going down on me. Absolutely certain he passed out during the blow job.
Apparently she doesn't appreciate the significance of eskimo sisterhood as much as I do.
Worst ten minutes of my life, it's was like trying to put a marshmallow in a piggy bank....
We go out, we get drunk, we watch Star Wars, we pass out. What's wrong with this tradition?
I'm pretty sure "good advice you would give to a freshman for achieving success" isn't constituted by introducing them to your addy dealer...
it is my civic duty to ensure the success of our youth.
Okay so the couple who keep propositioning people for threeways are def siblings not bf/gf
So are you gonna do it or no you said they're hot
I heard you ran into my sister lastnight. Do you remember making out with her and slapping my uncle?
I accidentally brought up how there used to be a big tree in his yard, which I could only have known if I had been Google mapping his house.
I'm a terrible person when I drink. I went from fine to not making any sense and yelling about cheese in like 30 seconds.
Think of the things uve done in the past. And ask urself "have I done worse?" If u answer yes. Its perfectly ok.
Randomize
