OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
it was the worst sex ever in the history of sex. i mean ever. and he thought he was great. actually told me he was the best id ever had...what was i supposed to say? lol...i've had better times by myself. seriously.
some dude is getting blown right outside the bar in his car. reeediculous
class
he's dribbling her head like he's fucking allen iverson
she's into porn, im staying here tonight
why did your cousin post "out tonight" on facebook? doesn't he know it's only 1 in the afternoon?
shhh don't tell him. it's cloudy out and none of his clocks work
i can't believe i had a foursome before a threesome
I trust that you have thought of something completely illegal for us to do this weekend.
no dont talk to me..because of you my bar tab was more expensive than my hospital bill
i wanted to ask her what his dick looked like but i thought that would be weird for the first time i met her
I woke up on the dog bed, bottle of alcohol still in hand and my thong was hanging off the family portrait.... Yikes
You said something about how beautiful my pockets were, then walked away.
Yes talking about pockets is classic me.
If the river was whiskey, it would be the best river ever.
As a general rule of thumb, I don't call until the claw marks have healed.
I'm so proud of us for not dying.
I can only get day drunk because of my medicine now, so... There's that
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