I'll trade you a raw potato for some vodka
not allowed to tweet this cos she's following me but i definitely just got head in a stairwell of the university of chicago. wanted you all to know.
Reindeer Drinking Games will soon commence. Get over here while we're still sober enough to answer the door.
The football player sitting in front of me just googled himself. Only 4 articles came up. That's why he plays at Utah State.
if your not going to answer your phone this is just going to be an embarrassment tomorrow
Just called the bar: "hi this is the girl who you kicked out for excessive bleeding, do you happen to have my coat?"
I can't believe they didnt cut us off after we all hugged each other and started singing "were the 3 best friends that anybody could have" RIGHT IN FRONT of the bar and bartender...
Why is there bacon braided in my hair
Fuck your 100 proof Hot Damn. Do you know what 100 proof vomit tastes like? Anger.
It's a drunk scavenger hunt.
Everything on the list counts for double points if done naked.
U can be a future sentaor's wife if you want. I'm happy with "closet lesbian", "tech prof".and "masters degree" all rolled into one. Drunken bar escapades pay off.
New low. Just realized I hooked up with a guy from Grindr in the hallway of a building my great grandfather used to own..
hahaha every time i hear a motorcycle i think about that one time you almost died
Thanks for the flashbacks you prick.
I just had to kick out lesbian wedding crashers. They literally wanted to punch me. I threatened to call the cops so they went outside and smoked a joint.
this is a mass text: the cage has been opened. repeat, the cage has been opened. a search party will be organized. you are all sloppy bitches. that is all.
Randomize
