oh. my. god. the guy i hooked up with last night is currently wearing a dress.
I just puked in an auto zone parking lot. I'm never eating peanut butter and red wine for dinner again.
It feels like he gave my taint an indian burn.
its not you its me. and by that i mean i am more interested in having random one night stands with random hot girls then having the same normal sex with u.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If I EVER wake up with two black eyes again you better come up with a better story than trying to see how many punches I could take.
God I hope my hair dresser doesn't realize that all these hairspiration pictures are from gay porn blogs on tumblr.
Someone shat in our tub last night. I'm not pointing fingers but you priors make you a prime suspect.
100 proof captain the only man who can make me strip during a snowstorm
I told her I didn't have a condom. She then sized me with her thumb and finger and tossed me a large. Then I asked her to marry me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it a bad thing that I've made out with everybody I work with?
Nipple rings and loofahs DO NOT mix.
I could have been on my second lucrative divorce by now, but nooooo, I had to be a strong independent woman.
I just bought six bottles of the 2 dollar vodka. oh yes there will be blood
I'd date him. I'd date the fucking shit out of him.
He just told me my boobs made up for all the bad things that had ever happened to him. I'm definately having sex with him again.
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