walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
I guess calling a coworker a lesbian sea cow is some kind of violation.
SOME GIRL ON THE STAIRS IN FRONT OF ME JUST FARTED AND IT WENT STRAIGHT INTO MY MOUTH!
just printed 333 ways to get kicked out of wal-mart. hello thursday night.
whoever says they hate hangovers just doesnt know how to embrace them. i'm eating a mashed potato sandwich and watching grind.
is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
The higher i get, the less gay he looks, and the more i want to make out with him. This is dangerous.
Mym mom just came downstairs as I got ghome ans I'm trying to act SO CASUAL as i stabdh here hut icant help bur be like 'girl where's ther Turkey sandwiche s' haahaa
I literally need you to talke care of me soooo9o9oooooo drubj gril makin a sabdwiche. SO far its judst bred and paper towel...
I would feel bad sleeping with her unless all of her personalities were on board with it.
I hurt so much. Not in the emotional way, but in the I went to dive bars sorta way.
I'm still getting random messages from guys about my Halloween outfit. Electrical tape is coming back next year
I just googled "can they trace a vibrator back to you" so that' s how my life it going.
Try eating a sub blackout with your uncle. It's not easy ok
SO EXCITED ABOUT STRING CHEESE RIGHT NOW
I don't wanna SLEEP with him, I want to start bar fights with him. There's a difference.
Randomize
