guys are not supposed to queef...right?
I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
my little sister told my dad she found willy wonka's golden ticket in the backseat of my car. now my dad knows my boyfriend uses magnums.
Before he took my jeans off all he said was "no hard feelings from middle school right?"
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
I cant believe Lindsay Lohan feels like this every day
We hung out in the bathroom the whole time and talked about sex and watched some girl pee. If you don't believe I was there, check the bathtub for bread crust.
Going to the hospital for stitches on my balls. Mom walked in on me manscaping with an electric razor. Tell NOBODY.
I don't even see the point of going over to his place dressed anymore.
I hope you fall on your chin.
Jealousy makes you ugly.
Don't they also have a lot of serious head injuries?
I didn't say I wanted to marry one of them. Or that I want one to perform surgery on me. I just want to have hot, dirty, MMA style sex.
I forgot how weird my hair bleaches and now I'm a calico
You can wake up to my rainbow of failure
I'm at a new rock bottom. Malibu on ice at work because it's the only thing they've got and no mixers.
It's not even 11, i dropped a shot glass, nick is bleeding, and everyone is drunk
Apparently 24 hr fitness frowns upon the ingestion of psychedelics on its premises, don't see that in the sign up contract.
Just finished 151. Eating nutella off a spoon. Bring condoms.
Randomize
