in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
Great date with Damon, but I'm not sure if telling him I like lesbian porn is a good second date discussion.
The walls in my apartment are so thin that sometimes when I fart, I stop to listen if people are laughing next door.
just spent all of my last class as a college student, vomiting in the bathroom. its moments like these i will cherish
Dignity is for republicans.
what the fuck is a social media consultant, who does she consult for, and how bad is she at it? her facebook account is currently hacked and posting ads for the ipad 2 on my newsfeed
I think shooting the BMW with the bow and arrow is when our group became the evening's antagonist
Mother fucker, I knew it was bad when you tried making out with my car window
I'm high and reading a Wikipedia article on circumcision procedure. Help.
Please don't pee your pants in the cab. One more time, and im pretty sure the cab companies will refuse to pick you up anymore
how do you make "fuck me in the break room" sound casual?
You gave my cousin a blowjob and are facebook friends with my mom. Is there a name for this level of friendship?
Family trip though. I generally don't wheel too much ass with the fam in tow. Despite the fact my parents would be pleased if I did.
This couple is walking their pig around campus
jump out the window naked night went bad
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