my girlfriends now gay ex-boyfriend kissed me. tell maddie i can't hangout today
and that's why we call him explosion in my pants. no one remembers his real name.
i felt like we were having sex on ultimate fighter, and people on the outside kept yelling ELBOW ELBOW! KNEES KNEES!
whatcha mean you cant get rid of genital warts? thats not what my girlfriend says
Nope, didn't see her. We left when you told us you were going to make the " big beef burrito supreme" even more supreme and you took your dick out.
his Mom's staying with him so he asked if I'd go over and fuck in his shed. he said "it's a really nice shed"
The amount of pregnancy tests I've taken in my life is unhealthy
can we meet up so i can piece together the end of my night? for instance, did i jump or fall into a plant?
its hard to take this fight seriously when one dude is an oompa loompa, and the other is a "g spot"
She fucking ripped my chandelier out of my ceiling. How does that make her a keeper?
WHY ARE YOU POKING HOLES IN MY 3AM LOGIC?!
I let him do a line off my nipple in exchange for his prescription pain pills. I feel like 3/4 Vegas stripper, 1/4 underbelly of society.
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
Got dumped. Now accepting nominations for my extra Dave Mathews ticket. No xboyfriends. Must cast final votes by Monday. Good luck everyone
On a scale of 1 to 10, with 1 being “good” and 10 being “banging a student’s father”, how bad is it that I’m banging a student’s father?
Randomize
