Yea. The knew something was up when i told them i had to go pick up goat milk and and and a roasted chicken at 2 am
Desperate + desperate does not equal a fun night.
So I just walked into the bathroom, and there was this kid, talking to his mom, while taking a shit. I flushed the toilet next to him and heard him say into the phone, "No, I'm not. I'm in my dorm."
dude.. you lit a cigarette on the bus and told the driver it was okay because you were fire marshall of your boy scout troop
positive spin of the day: since my nose is blocked from allergies cleaning the puke this morning was much easier
how do I tell the students with a crush on me, that yes, I am open to receiving blowjobs in exchange for grades?
You kept tellin the cashier that this order was "To Go" over and over...even tho we were in the drive-thru
My brother just put in eyedrops to talk to my mom on the phone
Umm, ya, half our class is sitting in starbucks passing around flasks. Yes, flasks. Plural. Going to join them, we're all giving oral presentations in 20. Go hard or go home.
I swear to Christ if it turns out to be an intervention, i will set you on fire.
would it be mean if I put better with the lights off on my sex playlist just for my hook up with him?
I seriously had alll four of your knuckles bruised into my arm
he woke me up with all the stuff I had at his house in boxes i had to unwrap my own belongings and he said. Happy v-day its time to see ya day! Worst day ever
I'm proud of all of us. Somehow we all survived another Jägerbomb Tuesday
our moms work together...I can just see the conversation now, hey your daughter ruined my sons marriage, that's probably how it will start.
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