I think my guts just had a chinese fire drill
i've never been more proud of someone than i was when he told me he got his first blowjob at age 13...from two chicks
I just ate nachos topless with a fork. Live with meeee
Dude I broke my bong in half this morning. I kicked it as I was jerking off. I would never hide anything from you.
He was sitting at the table eating ice and said, "I'm pretty sure everyone in my family has nipples."
P.S. It's common courtesy to let the girl your banging know if she's about to walk into the same place your girlfriend is at so she can get her poker face ready
It's like if a cloud had tits and you laid on them.
I got a second ticket last night for drunkly using my one call to order a pizza and get it delivered at the police station
This is a mass text. I will facerape you if you bring me Fierce Melon Gatorade and 4 D batteries.
Because the guy guy doing the drawing either wanted to bone, or wanted us to stop entering the contest. Either way, we got concert tickets so I'm cool with both scenarios.
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
Oh, in response to your "does dating get better" question...I feel like penises are getting smaller nowadays. Its been several years since I saw a good 8+ incher.
You can't just say "I scored us a potential threesome" and then not text me back.
I just bought a handle of tequila and a breakfast burrito. I might be out of money for the weekend, but at least I have the necessities covered.
She ripped her shorts off and yelled "VAGINA TIME!"
Randomize
