Who did Billy Mays play for?
Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
Someone sent me a drink from across the bar. It was water.
I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When a bartender remarks "wow" on how quickly you've finished a drink... Is that good or bad?
I was worried he'd break you after the hiatus your lady parts had to take from social interaction.
Vegas is great, yelled at a guy 4 lanes over if he wanted a bj. ended up having sex in a vacant lot. I think he was homeless.
A milkman. But instead of milk I'm delivering marijuana. And instead of a milk truck it's an armored car.
You're a weed delivery man, in an armored car?
I just hope I don't wheeze during sex
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He sends me pictures of his dogs and I send him my tits, it's a win win situation
If you could not mention to him that I slept with his best friend, that'd be cool of you.
It's 2016 and I am a strong independent woman who just wants someone not weird to touch my butt, dammit
And he kept lifting up his shirt every few minutes to check if his nipples were still there
I'm a history major and he's the descendant of TWO presidents. Did you really think I wasn't going to sleep with him?
she filled my toilet with birdseed... i tried flushing it but now it's clogged so she has to come over and fix it because it was her mistake in the first place
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