what do kids with lesbian moms do for father's day? like do you talk about it? is it awkward? do you get the butchy mom a card?
Girl last night got so wet when I was going on down her it flooded up my nose. I nearly drown
I'm at my inlaws playing Scrabble. Go Fuck Yourself.
I'm still with the girl from last night. remember to call me conrad and that i work for PETA
My gym is having a pizza and beer party. God im starting to love this place.
God you better not be texting me after just having sex with someone from craigslist
I'm about to do the walk of shame in a christmas onesie. What would I do without christmas sweater party season?
That was an excessively violent trivia night
Beer acquired. Food is cooking
Wow, you are almost sliding into home plate for some stellar fellatio
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a taco... I feel like a female Elvis.
well all i have to say, besides fuck you, is YOU try assembling ikea shelves while high on molly.
She took her panties off, then farted in my general direction. I guess we're at that stage in our relationship.
An old biker dude just flirted with me at Food City. I enjoyed it. God damn I need to get laid.
Don't forget to grab a pregnancy test and sloppy joe mix for tonight
I love you. I would never turn you into a bear.
Fuck. Totally just had sex instead of studying for econ test in an hour. Gonna get fucked again. HELP ME WITH YOUR EXTENSIVE KNOWLEDGE OF ECON
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