Me hooking up with her is like rush being president. Bad news.
does my mom think that having an ed hardy lighter is going to get her laid?
she moaned out jack bauer's name while i was banging her...
i told her she would have to blow me everytime we lost a game of beer pong, she never noticed i purposely hit our opponents in the face every other shot
the liquor store owner came out from behind the counter and kissed my cheek when he saw that i am back for fall semester
I could be wrong, but im pretty sure i jumped off the roof after my lighter.
We had a 30 min conversation last night about whether or not to bone that girl with a lisp to see if she moans with one...
I cant be sure, but i think ive been drunk in this church before.
Im making gravy in a lace bra and jeans. Just call me the southwern wet dream
I have fireworks and redbull; let's make heart attack inducing magic happen.
My Internet history has 23 searches for 24 hour cake. Self respect plummeting.
I'm home, and it turns out she didn't get it all. still picking Oreos out of my pubes.
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
so.. he paid for my flight to vegas, took me to shows, bought my drinks and STILL rescued my drunk ass after i ditched him. i HAD to cuddle with him this morning.. fair exchange, right?!
I just googled "how to blow an uncircumcised guy" and did serious research. That's how badly I want to fuck him.
You misuse your internet privileges.
Randomize
